Remote Control

Maybe because I watch too many DVDs or I'm just rough with them, but remotes for our DVD players die in my hands a lot that I feel like I'm the Dr. Kevorkian of remote controls.
So if you want your suffering remote to die, just send it to me.
The original remote for my player self-destructed because the batteries melted inside it.
So I borrowed - stole, more like it - my parents' remote so I can use it in my room and that died, too. (I'm surprised it lasted this long after I spilled Coke on it.)
Since universal remote controls don't have the buttons I frequently use (no Disc Skip or no Subtitle buttons?!), I had to buy a replace remote for my 6 year-old player this time.
Of course, it cost a bundle because it's an older model. But when it arrived, and after I juiced it with new batteries, I felt like Sweeney Todd and saying, "At last, my arm is complete again!"