Creative Procrastination

Kindness

At the corner of the street, as I was waiting to cross - an old man stood holding a paper plate with the words "Please Help" scrawled on it. He was shivering, snot hanging from his nose.

I noticed the woman in front of him, asking if he was hungry. He said yes.
"I can get you something from there. Let's go, you pick."
"No. Not from there."
"What kind of food would you like?"
"McDonald's."
"Ok, let's go."
"I want to stay here."
"Ok. I'll get it for you. I'll be back." I saw her go off towards a nearby Mickey D's.

I would've offered him my corn dogs. But he didn't want anything from "there" - as he said - where I just came from. Mickey D's is no better than Nathan's. I bet you it's fattier, Mr. Picky.

Cranial Nerves

Those pesky cranial nerves again. To remember them ...

In Class, per our instructor: "On Old Olympus' Towering Top A Finn And German Viewed Some Hops."

How I remembered them in Anatomy and Physiology and has served me well since: "On Occasion Our Trusty Truck Acts Funny A Good Vehicle AnyHow."

How I will remember them from now on: "Oh Oh Oh Tubby Teens And Fat Virgins Give Very Shitty Head."

Turkey Lurkey Time

Gobble it up.

"The Cost of Dying"

"We don't ration rationally."


Watch CBS News Videos Online


A naive reductionist phrase: "Pulling the plug on grandma."
A question with a too-often unknown answer, "What did grandma want?"
"Do Not Resuscitate" does NOT mean "Do Not Treat."
Less aggressive treatments at end of life yield better outcomes across the board:
Palliation, quality of life, less moral distress, and yes, less cost.

Visa

Whilst applying for an Indian visa,
had on hand a book entitled “Transforming Presence”;
whilst waiting to pick it up, I was reading “Health as Expanding Consciousness.”
Please do not liken me to travelers who seek enlightenment in Vishnu land -
No connection between me and the lady in line with a Yoga book in hand.

Lambic

Reaching for the Lambic (my new monomania) bottle at the supermarket, this elderly woman asked me, "Is that good?"

I said yes. That's why I'm getting two.

She checked out the bottle, saw the price, and put it back right away. "I don't plan on spending that much," she said. "I was looking for something fruit flavored. They used to carry one here, but they don't make them anymore. It cost a dollar and 99 cents. My roommate and I would split it. It was so delicious."

I felt a jolt of generosity and thought I should buy her a bottle or I open it now and we split it. But that would be enabling overage drinking.

"It was nice talking to you," I said. "Have a good night."

"Oh, you too."

I walked away, then she called out, "Bryan says good night, too."

I turned to look and saw that she was pointing at a bird in a cage that was sitting atop her grocery cart.

I trusted my judgment then of not even getting her an inexpensive fruity wine cooler.

Off

Days off are days gone by.
On the seventh day, God rested.
He did not have to catch up on everything else ...

Mandate

Get pricked or get fired. Unless you have a demonstrable allergy to eggs.

New York state issued a mandate for all health care workers to be immunized with this year's flu vaccine and the H1N1 vaccine when it's available.

When you tell people they HAVE to do something, it stirs people to the verge of mutiny.

"While we encourage nurses to be immunized for the flu, we do not agree that nurses should be required to be immunized every year as a condition of employment.The seasonal flu vaccine is not 100% effective and sometimes is highly ineffective, as it was in 2005 and 2007. There is no guarantee that in any given year, the public will benefit from mandatory immunization of healthcare providers." -New York State Nurses Association

Give me this year's flu shot, but don't give me the H1N1 shot.
The swine flu vaccine is a rushed product. It's considered safe based on studies from a small limited sample. My tin foil hat senses government-corporate conspiracy when the new vaccine falls under the PREP Act. That means the vaccine manufacturer(s) has immunity from lawsuits related to the vaccine. So, those who will develop Guillain-Barre, Steven-Johnsons, or anaphylaxis are simply trading one illness for another.

Uncertainty fans fear and I'm throwing in some kindling here. But for a health care model that values patient autonomy, none can be found in this situation. Of course, the state and our employers don't see us as patients, even though we are the receiving end of that needle. They see us as workers and vaccination is like insurance for them. Human subjects in research are lucky. They have informed consent. I don't and I feel like a guinea pig in this process.

Bedside Chat

03:00. When therapeutic communication is best.

"Baby, I just want my youth back."

"So do I, Ms. ___. But that goal is not possible. However, we can try to manage your pain while you're here in the hospital."

"Baby, I'm sick. Physically. Emotionally. Sexually."

Therapeutic silence. The kind when I'm trying not to laugh.

Swirl

Under The Bean.

Backyard

What's growing in the backyard? Tomatoes.


Chilis.

Pineapple.

Deep Cleaning, Part 2

Dentist: Isn't it so much better?

Me: Much better. I love flossing now. No more bleeding.

Despite knowing what to expect or because of that, I was more tense than before. No guided imagery can take away that pain. "You gotta relax. You're going to break my finger," he said. It probably didn't help that the TV in the room was tuned in to Shark Week.

Dentist: Next time, we'll do the filling and the polish. You want to schedule it next week or do you want a break from me for a week?

Me: A break. Please.

More Tita Cory

“I admit that I have had no experience in cheating, stealing, lying or assassinating political opponents."
Cory Aquino, replying to Ferdinand Marcos accusing her of political inexperience.



The section that stood out for me from Ramona Diaz's "Imelda." Imelda vs. Cory was like a battle of the divas. When we were kids, we took sides, much like the Red Sox vs. the Yankees. The glamorous Imelda vs the plain (albeit wealthy) housewife Cory. The drag show in the movie crystallized that juxtaposition to a tee, pointedly playing up Tita Cory's piety. If you run for office, make sure the church is behind you.

Cory

1933-2009.
In my life, the years 1986-1992.

I remember the excitement when she campaigned in our city. I could see how the adults around me felt. The yellow streamers (her signature hue) brightened them up. And there was that palpable feeling of change, a mighty tide sweeping up the masses. There was a feeling that we were part of an important moment in Philippine history.

I remember when my mom voted in that election. At the voting precinct (a public school), there was a party mood. The adults voted, while the kids played. After the votes were cast, we all went to the beach. It was a moment when they knew their voices will be heard and counted.

I remember when Cory won, and finally we can say bad things about Imelda Marcos out loud and not feel like the cops were going to take us away and torture us.

And I remember, in her flawed leadership, four years after her election, a coup started in Malacanang, the presidential palace. That day, our teachers in school told us to go home at 9 a.m. My classmates and I didn't go home. We were free. Instead of going home, we walked around the city, strolling, nary a care, our younger siblings in tow. We played video games at the arcade. We stopped for lunch at my classmate's carenderia. His mother and her customers intently listened to the radio news. His mother admonished us for gallivanting while a coup d'etat was going on. First of all, we didn't know what "coup d'etat" meant. She asked us if we knew the gravity of the political situation. Um, we didn't at the time. And it was taking place in Manila - well north of us, islands away. Military tanks were unlikely to roll by our city streets.

We did go home after that scolding without any understanding why we pissed off the adults. Only later on did I understand that a coup meant it would be a return to martial law, to the Marcos regime. There would be no more bright cheery yellow ribbons. And the People's Revolution would've been short-lived, and in many minds, for naught.

Losing Teeth

Sitting on the dentist's chair. Already tense. An animation plays on the HD screen. About the horrific effects of progressive periodontal disease. How receding gumlines make your teeth look like hooves before they fall out one by one. The dentist laughs at the less than Pixar quality of the graphics.

Dentist: That's frightening to me.

Me (the left side of my mouth numb from the Lidocaine): I have dreams of that. My teeth falling out. A premonition, you think?

Dentist: That's one of the classic 14 dreams.

Losing your teeth.
This theme has a number of potential meanings because of the very different significances teeth have to different people. Our teeth are representative of our appearance because our smiles are one of the first things people notice about us. Therefore, dreaming about losing your teeth can indicate insecurity about your appearance, or even fears of sexual impotence, as teeth are often used to flirt with a desired partner. We also use our teeth to bite, chew, and tear, so losing them can mean a loss of power or fear of getting old. Interestingly, this dream is most common among menopausal women, perhaps for all of the above reasons.

Part 1 of 2 of the deep cleaning. So not looking forward to the other half.

Brain Mets

Brain metastasis can sometimes be hospital-funny-sad.

Patient: I can't stand up! Wh-why is that? Wh-What's happening?

Patient's Friend: Babe, you're sick. You have cancer.

P: I have cancer? Oh. I forgot. I have cancer.

I.T.

Far from a super-user here. The consultant's just like me - when I'm at work. There has to be a limit to the number of failed return demonstrations and then one must be officially branded stupid. Patience is a virtue, I'm told.

Too Soon?

This morning. (The RN version.)

Coworker: (referring to her patient) He's anxious. He's ordered for Versed prn.
Me: Who's your patient? Michael Jackson?

The other night ... (For all.)

Coworker: Did you hear? They found out what killed Michael Jackson.
Me: What?
Coworker: Food.
Me: Food?
Coworker: A food allergy.
Me: Really?
Coworker: Yeah. He died eating 10 year old nuts.

Sweet

How to kill your nurse with kindness: M&M encrusted pretzels presented by a patient.
Of course, I ate it. And rued the sugar crash that ensued.

Brooklyn Bridge

Joined the Ladies Who Lunch at River Cafe in Brooklyn. Partook of their Restaurant Week menu: roughly 25 bucks for a three course lunch. I understand it's a place where one pays for the view, and not for the food. But seriously, $6.75 for a glass of iced tea?

Walked across the Brooklyn Bridge to Manhattan. Worked off the calories from dessert and enjoyed the breezy summer afternoon.

FOOD, INC.

FOOD, INC. (dir. Robert Kenner, 2009).

Less preachy than I thought. More anecdotal in its indictments, which worked for me and might not for fans of number-spouting, a la Michael Moore. Would put me off certain foods for a while. But I know that I'll be reaching for that GMO basted in high-fructose corn syrup in no time.

Choice nibbles:

• “We're teaching fish to eat corn.”
• Unblinking comparison between “organic” farm slaughter and industrial slaughter. Yes, people, that's where food comes from.

The audience, as I expected, is the choir. We already know this, in general, if not in detail. To effect real change, the movie's exposure has to stretch beyond the choir box.

MJ

First song that came to mind upon hearing of Michael Jackson's death. Not "Thriller" or "Beat It."
What it probably says about how I want to remember him: more innocent (a kid roped into show business), before Michael the Show-off ruled the '80s, part of a family (no matter how dysfunctional), and the song is classic Motown.

Marks

The Internet: a giant tree for people to carve their names and leave their mark in this world. Recently, a patient's spouse suggested I look up a You Tube video of her deceased husband. “You should see him before he got sick. You can see him dance a traditional Greek dance.” This was especially more poignant when I viewed the video, because throughout his length of stay he could hardly move his legs.

Whenever I google a patient's name, a sense of irrational guilt creeps up before I click “search.” It's this HIPAA business drummed into me. I feel less of a voyeur when a patient or patient's family suggests I look up his/her name on the Internet.

The first time I looked up a patient's name was to find out whether she was who she said she was. If she was published, then I would definitely find a book that she authored. It turned out she was a professor and her ratings on Rate My Professor would make me think twice about registering for her class. From fact-checking, I went on to reading patient obituaries. What I wanted was the knowledge that the patients I cared for were more than persons with diagnoses. I didn't want to define them by their illness. There's some comfort to see that friends and family miss them from looking at the online comments on the obituaries. But I wanted to color their lives for my sake. Maybe because I never asked them in the first place. So I look for the marks on the tree, that they were here, that they lived.

Orchestrators

From NPR: In Praise Of Broadway's Orchestrators
By Susan Stamberg

The article asks, “Ever hear of Sid Ramin, Jonathan Tunick, Don Walker, Russell Bennett or Ralph Burns?”
Why, yes, I have. And might I add that you left out Michael Gibson, Harold Wheeler, and to an extent, Trude Rittman.

Tony countdown begins and theater geeks around this time lobby for a new category. The orchestrator category at the Tony's is only 12 years old. Only recently have they divided the design categories into plays and musicals. This year, talk was mostly about adding a Best Ensemble category. Mine would be for Best Musical Direction. I grant that the criteria for nominees in that category would be hard to delineate. Just nominate the original musical directors of a new production? Will “plays with music” qualify? All I really want is for Paul Gemignani to get some recognition from Antoinette Perry.

Fleet Week

Snapshots aboard the U.S.S. Iwo Jima. It's one massive recruitment tool for the Navy and the Air Force. As you stroll along, you can hop in to a flight simulator, climb up tanks and other aircraft on display, or suit up in a fire-retardant uniform and get your picture taken. What I found disturbing were children getting hands on with firearms on display. A tyke behind a machine gun? I'm too much of a liberal to find that cute.

1-866-IDOLS-0?

I've never seen day nurses give report so fast and clear out the station.
Didn't catch on until one of them said she had to leave NOW so she can be home to watch the showdown on “American Idol.”

Watched it this morning and the standout was Adam Lambert's rock and soul cover of “Change is Gonna Come.” (The Idol producer chose “What's Going On?” for Kris Allen to sing, which sounded so passe considering change is in the zeitgest compared to war protest.)

I had two people text me at work about how Adam “rocks” and that I should vote for him. However, they neglected to give me the extension to dial so I can participate in the “democratic” process of voting as many times for my candidate of choice.

"Only bad witches are ugly."

"The Wizard of Oz" was a movie my mother banned me from seeing because she said the Wicked Witch of the West was the work of the devil. Wasn't she the one who took my brothers and I to its far scarier sequel “Return to Oz”? Maybe she knew that watching Judy Garland would turn me gayer.

What is the queer appeal of “The Wizard of Oz”? It can't just be Judy Garland. Queer viewers most likely identified with Dorothy's yearning for “Somewhere / Over the Rainbow,” a place far from their oppressive reality. Or the campiness of the witches? Or the visibility of the Sissy stereotype in the guise of the Cowardly Lion.

This time, however, I read the film as a metaphor on movie escapism. Dorothy's journey mirrors that of a moviegoer's. Dorothy /Moviegoer is sucked into the vortex and transported from the harsh black and white world to a Technicolor fantasy land. Dorothy's time in Oz is a dream. The moviegoer's time spent in the cinema is nothing but a dream. The movie doesn't sell the fantasy. Since this is 1939 at the tail end of the Depression, the movie emphasizes the importance of family and home. “Lose yourself in a movie” it says. “But your real life, no matter how dull, is more precious.”

Kidney Now!

Long, exhausting night at work: a shift when I felt like a nurse, waitress, janitor, and unit clerk all rolled into one. Come morning, when the powers that be start nitpicking and screaming "Who's the nurse for _," all the things one does (within and outside of one's department) are unrecognized. One feels like s/he has not done any thing right in the past twelve hours.

To unwind, I curled up to "30 Rock's" season finale that served up an ending that chased the work blues away.

"WHEN YOU GIVE A KIDNEY
AND WE REALLY THINK YOU SHOULD
WE PASS THE CUP
THEY STITCH IT UP
YOU DO SOME GOOD."

"Be Italian" Again

Um, finally. The Oscar-baiting "Nine" trailer is finally out.
Not good enough for Cannes, I take it. A trailer is no way to judge a movie, but let's see: the numbers look like they're shot on the same studio as "Chicago" and the overall aesthetic is more "La Dolce Vita" than "8 1/2." Anita Ekberg seems to be an inspiration for the women. Daniel Day Lewis channels Marcello Mastroianni nicely. And Fergie's breasts, in true Fellini fashion, are big enough to scare and entice at the same time.
The irony of the song is that with the exception of Sophia Loren, none of its main stars are Italian.

"Mama"

I don't usually mark these Hallmark holidays.
I'm a bad son. I can't remember the last time I got a present for Mother's day.



Charice Pempenco sings "Mama" in Sharon Cuneta's (!) show.
The song, first sung by Smokey Mountain, was originally a hit way back when in the Philippines. It's sappy and hews closer to a Broadway melody than a pop song.
I recall adopting this as a theme song when it first came out since my mother was trying out her luck at a med-surg unit in Long Island at that time. I even called the radio station to request it.

Full Song: Smokey Mountain's "Mama."

Nurses Week

Happy Nurses Week!

I know I'm not the only one who looks forward to this week. We groan because we have to do another poster board. But in exchange for that, the hospital gives us some swag. This year was the cheapest gift of them all. It was a black eco-friendly re-usable grocery bag. At least they fed us cookies, ice cream, and breakfast.

None of this makes the job any easier though, only slightly appreciated for a week.
Let me vent: I picked a medical oncology unit to work in because I wanted to avoid psych, maternity, and pediatrics. But recently, I feel like I've been working in all those departments at the same time. I've seen more younger patients. (Naturally, as I grow older, there will be more patients younger than me.) I've encountered more bipolar patients, not to mention patients whose mental status are affected by their disease. There's not enough compensation from Nurses Week when someone curses you out, spits at you, and chews out their restraints. It's not a psychiatric floor, so we can't call the kind of code where security officers show up and someone gives Haldol, Ativan, and Benadryl to the patient. We've had new mothers as patients, too. Post-partum depression and cancer combined? I described the unit to my supervisor as "brutal." She said, "We prefer to call it challenging."

Background: National Nurses Week is celebrated annually from May 6, also known as National Nurses Day, through May 12, the birthday of Florence Nightingale, the founder of modern nursing.

H1N1

Image from: NY Times, "American Epidemics, a Brief History"

Traveling in the subway yesterday, I was paranoid about every sniffle and cough I made. Will other people flee from me? Or will my fellow passengers kick me out of the car? Luckily the cough drop worked and I was inconspicuous. Can you blame me for the paranoia? There's a panic-demic going on. A friend told me how his company purchased masks in bulk so the employees in the office can wear them. How about staying home from work? (I know, it's a luxury not everyone can do.)

The NY Times ran the above chart and left out the current Influenza A/H1N1 outbreak. The scapegoats this time are Mexicans. No kerosene baths for them this time (See Typhus Outbreak.) But the dowsing they get from TV viewers calling in or e-mailing to news shows are as scabrous. Mexicans did not bring the swine flu to the U.S. by sneaking across the border! The first cases stateside were from U.S. tourists.

From New York Magazine: Swine Flu Is Turning Us Against Each Other

A & P

Remember in Anatomy and Physiology Lab when the TA's told us to treat the human skeletons with respect? Probably because of these cut-ups from med schools way back when. Their sense of humor was as morbid as ours.

The tableaus reminded me of a school project college students submitted at the nursing school my mother taught in the Philippines. The students had to present dioramas of frog skeletons as their final project. The dioramas I saw included frogs dressed as the Beatles in a concert, frogs in a fashion show, and frogs riding a car. Don't know for which class. Biology, maybe? Luckily, we didn't have to do that here. The dissecting part and the dressing up part, I wouldn't have a problem with. But hunting for frogs? Imagine trying to catch them in your backyard?

"A Student's Dream"

From NPR: Portraits Capture Life In Dissecting Class

Rome and Russia on TCM

A plus this past week as I'm nursing myself back to health is spending quality time with Turner Classic Movies. So I had the opportunity to see some movies again.

Re-watched “Roman Holiday” and I know I've seen it at least twice before. The Mouth of Truth scene is still as delightful. But it turned out I had forgotten how the whole movie ends! It's a fitting ending, anyhow. Rome's tourist sights still look the same now as in the movie. New sights to visit the next time in Rome: Palazzo Colonna, Castel St. Angelo, and of course, the Bocca della Verità.

“From Russia with Love” appeared fresher, wittier, and more enjoyable than the recent entries in the franchise (except “Casino Royale”). It's the second James Bond movie and more iconic than the first. Austin Powers spoofed practically every bit of this movie. The blatant sexism feels archaic. Bond sleeps with a lot of women here (at least four, I think, including a threesome). Bond beauties here are either simply pretty and easily fall for Bond or unattractive and villainous. Lotte Lenya as Rosa Klebb falls on the latter category. Her Sapphic caressing of Daniela Bianchi just adds another threat to Bond's masculinity. I can't believe that this is Kurt Weill's Lotte Lenya – the same one from Kander and Ebb's “Cabaret” singing about a pineapple.

Both delivered in escapism, allowing me to travel to Rome, Istanbul, and Venice - at least in my mind.

May Day

The first rainfall in May has healing powers.
This was a superstition I learned as a boy when I stayed with my paternal side of the family one summer. Of course I didn't believe that. The Baptist side of me said this must be a Catholic thing since they were Catholics. It rained that first day in May. I joined the other kids outside showering in the rain because it just seemed like fun.

Puerto Rico and the Dominican Republic have the same superstition: 

"You will have good luck throughout the year if you stroll under the first rain drizzles in May (las primeras lloviznas de mayo)."

"When the first rain in May falls catch the water with your hands and wash your face. This will get rid of wrinkles, and purify. Save some in a jar to use later for whatever ails you."

So, it must be a Catholic thing. Is May a holy month in their calendar?

My guess: Since May is part of summer in the Philippines and the above countries are also tropical, rain around this time of the season must feel like a blessing.

Could be worth a shot going outside and getting wet to cure me of this bad cold. It's better than going back to the island in "Lost" so I can get "healed" like Twitchy.

Sincerita

Back on American soil ...
The sound track to my Italian trip: “Sincerita” by Arisa. MTV played it a lot and I hummed it frequently since I first heard it in Florence. Don’t know what the whole song’s about. My best guess is sincerity? Something about love? She reminds me of Lisa Loeb.

Absence

Lack of postings: Partly due to "ningas kugon."
Mostly due to travelling.

The Bare Necessities

Paklay

Nothing against my father who's a terrific cook when it comes to tripe, but his attempt at paklay comes nowhere near that of our neighborhood carenderia's. Still decent, but tasting his dish, I was waiting for that Proustian sense-memory to unleash.

Below is a recipe from www.extra-rice.com. Just from the ingredients, it places it on the sweeter side. The one I remember (perhaps with fault) had a hint of bitterness (Dad's is heavy on this taste), light on the achuete, and mildly spicy.

1 small pineapple (half-pipe), slice into cubes
1 kilo tripe (goto or callos or goat skin), sliced into 2-inch strips, boiled in vinegar, salt and water stock from the boiled goto
6 pcs. starfruit (balimbing), thinly sliced
5 small tomatoes, chopped
3 onions, sliced
1 thumb-size ginger, sliced
1 head garlic, minced
bay leaves
whole peppercorns
achuete water (1/2 cup achuete mixed in 1 cup water)
1 small bamboo shoot (dabong), sliced, boiled then drained
cooking oil

1. In a pan, sauté garlic, tomatoes, onions and tripe.
Keep stirring until the mixture dries up a little.
2. Add the bamboo shoots and pineapple. Mix thoroughly.
3. Add the stock followed by the achuete water.
4. Cover until the bamboo shoots and pineapple are cooked.
5. Add the starfruit, bay leaves and whole peppercorns.
Allow to simmer until cooked.

Be Italian

DNP

Talks about the new Doctorate of Nursing Practice (DNP) degree that replaces the Advanced Practice Nurse (APN). Not to be confused with the PhD in Nursing. More than a difference of semantics, but inextricably related. One is practice and the other is academic. But I don't know how you can practice without the academic base. No patient who is "alert and oriented x 3" is going to confuse a nurse for being a doctor at bedside. The difference is not in the uniform.

More importantly, how did Dr. Steven Knope (below) pass the GRE or MCAT with an analogy like below?

From NPR: New Degree Creates Doctor Nurses — And Confusion
by Sally Herships

No one wants to badmouth Florence Nightingale, but a new degree for nurses is causing bad blood between doctors and their longtime colleagues. The program confers the title of doctor on nurses, but some in the medical profession say only physicians should call themselves "doctor."

Dr. Steven Knope is a family practitioner in Tucson, Ariz. "If you're on an airline," he jokes, "and a poet with a Ph.D. is there and somebody has a heart attack, and they say 'Is there a doctor in the house?' — should the poet stand up?" Knope laughs. "Of course not."

When You Are Engulfed in Flames

"When You Are Engulfed in Flames" by David Sedaris (2008).

Waiting at the bus stop and reading this, a man with obvious psych issues - (He was also telling other people around him that the man holding a black Hefty bag a few yards away was a man who ratted out on him in prison) - approached me and asked what I was reading. I showed him the book cover. "What's it about?" he asked. "It's about skulls?"

"Yes."

"Skulls?" He laughed. "You're weird." And he left me alone.

There is a skull in the book. The essays in this collection seem to have mortality in mind in his musings about health, sickness, and bodily functions (poop joke!).

Old Faithful, published in the New Yorker, is an essay that appears in the book and fit for V-day perusal.

"Together"

Arts and crafts time. My mural contribution at work.

Lady Liberty

Playing tourist in the dead of winter in NYC. No crowds.

Ferried to Liberty Island where I went through no less than two security checks. More rigorous than going through the airport, more invasive than the Ellis Island immigrant checks a century ago. Surprised that they didn't ask me to take off my shoes. Before entering the pedestal, I had to stand in an air puffer - a "sniffer" as one woman said. It tickled and I tried so hard not to giggle in the one minute it takes to figure out I smell right.

Remembering how it was 15 years ago: going up to the crown on one set of spiral steps and going down on another set. Both sets are on top of each other. A firetrap by any fire safety standard. Oh, we were so innocent then.

Lady Liberty remains special to me in all her green glory. She still has the personal distinction of being the only lady I've ever been inside of.

Daumier

At the Barnes Foundation in wealthy suburban Merion, PA. The above painting grabbed my attention amid the sublime Matisses, Renoirs, and Cezannes in the main vestibule.
Some new names I discovered today: Soutine and Pippin (purple has never been so royal than in his Christ and woman of Samaria); and a new appreciation for Modigliani.
Googling for other works I found intriguing in the museum, but yielded little or no results. The Foundation keeps a tight leash on their collection it seems.

(In keeping with the Foundation's displays, no title will be given for the above.)

Independence Hall

In Philly today freezing my buns off and visited Independence Hall. Wish it were sweltering and boisterous like in "1776." I found myself humming this song all along.

World Cancer Day

PSA: In brief, the message is fat kids will get cancer. So tell them to eat right and play.

Wednesday, 4 February 2009, is World Cancer Day!

On World Cancer Day, the International Union Against Cancer (UICC) will launch “I love my healthy active childhood”, the second full-year theme in our “Today’s children, tomorrow’s world” cancer prevention campaign.

The prevalence of overweight and obesity is rising dramatically among adults and children around the world.

According to the World Health Organization, 1 billion adults are overweight, and at least 300 million of these are clinically obese.

The International Obesity Taskforce estimates that one out of every ten school-age children is overweight. Of these, around 30-45 million children, that is 2-3% of children aged 5-17, are obese.

Being overweight or obese has been shown to increase the risk of cancer among adults.

World Cancer Day 2009 marks the start of a year-long campaign, where UICC will work with parents, teachers and decision-makers around the world to encourage kids to eat a healthy diet, be physically active and maintain a healthy body weight.

For more information about World Cancer Day and the World Cancer Campaign, contact the UICC.

"Ladette to Lady"

Almost stayed home and ditched work to watch the marathon of this show.
Love seeing the girls get trashed so hilarity could ensue. It's like "Pygmalion" with eight Amy Winehouses.
Shamelessly classist and sexist. The courses taught to the ladettes are straight from a 1950s syllabus (flower arranging?!), which includes watching them them pluck feathers from a goose and stuff it with a freshly plucked pheasant (and another fowl). The coveted job after this boot camp is for chalet girl. I've never heard of a chalet girl before. I've been hanging out with poor people.

"Don't Eat Blood."

Fit for this post to be on Sunday. My mother told me that I should not eat blood anymore because the Bible tells us so.

"But flesh with the life thereof, the blood thereof, shall ye not eat." (Genesis 9:4)
"For it is the life of all flesh; the blood of it is for the life thereof: therefore I said unto the children of Israel, Ye shall eat the blood of no manner of flesh: for the life of all flesh is the blood thereof: whosoever eateth it shall be cut off." (Leviticus 17:14)

This after I've been eating dinuguan (blood stew) for nearly all of my life.
Guess I'll just have to add this to "things I do behind my mother's back."

Haul

The aroma of a Fairway haul that made me self-conscious in the subway train: basil (roots coated with dirt), scallions, freshly ground coffee, and everything bagels. May be too pungent for others, but so earthy to me.

The Great Influenza

"The Great Influenza: The Story of the Deadliest Pandemic in History" by John M. Barry (2004)

"It's only influenza" is a line oft-repeated in the book about the 1918 Pandemic that decimated millions.
Served as a microbiology review for me. Remember Koch's postulates? Antigen shift and drift?
Others may like the "CSI" stuff in the book: how the virus kills, oozing blood, cyanotic bodies. More fascinating to me were the historical accounts of the inceptions of "The Hopkins" and Rockefeller Institute, the images of old New York (blood-letting horses in 68th and York!), and nurses being kidnapped in order to take care of sick patients.
Where the world went wrong was fear (misinformation or lack thereof) and poor infrastructure for managing an epidemic.
And we haven't come that far. We are still woefully unprepared.
Reminds me of that time in Micro when a classmate turned to me and said, "It's a scary time to be a nurse. We have these new diseases. SARS. Bird Flu."
That's why I don't work in the E.R.

El Norte

EL NORTE (dir. Gregory Nava, 1983)

Siblings migrate from Guatemala to L.A. (or "El Norte").
I favor its formal compositions. An indie free of grainy stock and shaky camera moves.
Divided into three sections, each with a distinct spirit: a mystical first part, an adventure story in the middle, and a verite style in the last.
The more indelible images involve nature: the Chiapas landscape, moths, and rats.
Even more topical now than its initial release. The movie makes a strong case for their departure, but I still side on the letter of the law involving immigration.
Despite that, I strongly identify with the characters' feeling of displacement. No matter how long I've been here, the definition of home never gets any clearer.

IV Junkie

How to start an IV with a junkie?
Ask him which vein he used to shoot up.
Perhaps the easiest time I ever had inserting a line.
Some things nursing school never taught us ...

MILK or The Gay "I Am Sam"

If you're still smarting from the pain of Prop 8’s passing, then console yourself with this movie. For those who felt left behind or felt like s/he was told to take the backseat for now, let us content ourselves with Harvey Milk’s victories in the past.

A Horse in the Year of the Earth Ox

A forecast for my Chinese zodiac sign this year:

Horse Ratings
32% (4 neutral and 8 unfavorable months)
The Horse may have a challenging year ahead. You may become frustrated with the lack of progress in your career, but you will have to be patient to see the results of your hard work. Beware of your energy levels, as you tend to swing in accordance to your success. You will have to work hard to steer yourself out of ruts with healthy activities and other projects that keep you active. Take comfort in your loved ones and friends who will provide support for you in times of need. Be open to try new things and heed the advice of others in the year of the Ox.

Sounds like it's going to be a down year for me. According to them, not a month in my favor. Will evaluate this at the end of the year and see if it lows true.

The Noms

Skimming the list of nominees made me feel like I hardly set foot in a movie house this year.
Only saw one of the five best picture finalists so far.
Other thoughts:

• An objection to seating “WALL-E” at the kids’ table. On par with “Bolt” and “Kung Fu Panda”? (This Best Animated Feature category needs to go. Seriously. It’s restrictive and patronizing.)
• For “The Reader” to muscle its way in, the Weinsteins must be up to their old tricks again.
• Where’s Sally Hawkins? Too brilliant to be nominated.

Not that anyone cares about this, really. Until Feb 22 rolls around. When "Slumdog Millionaire" won't need a lifeline to win that statue.

Pantone

The dress served as the sole suspense in yesterday's Inauguration.
Upon spotting Michelle Obama’s dress, Pantone came to mind. Think of that purple dress she wore during the campaign – a speck away from Blue Iris, Pantone’s Color of the Year for 2008. And now, a golden gown to usher Pantone’s Color of the Year for 2009: Mimosa, which “embodies hopefulness and reassurance in a climate of change.” Is she a trendsetter? Or trend seller?

Hmmm. Nancy Drew sniffs a money trail …

'Burb Angst

On "Revolutionary Road" (2008, dir. Sam Mendes):
Disappointing in its totality, but with admirable parts. Liked Roger Deakins’ coolly detached and clinical cinematography. Kate Winslet deserves her Globe for an astutely calibrated performance. She makes you feel what she’s going through, while Leonardo DiCaprio only manages to show you. Kathy Bates and Michael Shannon as mother and son make their mark in fewer scenes than it takes Sam Mendes to show us that suburbia numbs and crushes your soul.

Starting out on a shrill pitch (with a roadside spat) only leads us to more of the same. Each time Thomas Newman’s music comes on, a sledgehammer might as well have played that score. ("Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" starts out in the same pitch but takes us to further and varied grotesqueries).

5 Suburban Dramas Superior to "Revolutionary Road":

1. "Little Children" (2006, dir. Todd Field) Kate Winslet trapped in suburbia and in a hotter sex scene.
2. "American Beauty" (1999, dir. Sam Mendes) Mendes did it before and better.
3. "Happiness" (1998, dir. Todd Solondz) Dark and brutally funny.
4. "The Ice Storm" (1997, dir. Ang Lee) So chilly it will frost your screen.
5. "Bigger than Life" (1956, Nicholas Ray) Let’s shake up conformity with a little cortisol.

Sea Kittens

From NPR: PETA Attempts To Make Fish More Adorable by Anne Hillman

A new acme in ridiculous re-branding to brainwash children not to eat fish. Qualifies PETA as a perpetrator of intolerable cruelty to intelligent human beings. I will still enjoy my sea kittens, raw - with a hint of wasabi and dipped in soy sauce.

For responsible "sea kitten" consumption, consult Seafood Watch instead.

Light

Fragment from 2009's vision board.
So that drafting the itinerary will be less than a chore,
letting Adam Guettel's melodies waft and swirl.

In Firenze, I WILL enact that scene with the flying hat!

• Statues and Stories
• Passegiata